Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
