I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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