Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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