At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
