i already hear my dad disowning me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
