sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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