Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
