Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
