where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
