I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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