They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
