Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
