if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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