In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
