Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I can text with my tongue
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
