I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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