R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
