he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
