All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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