absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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