he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
