I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dignity is for republicans.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
