i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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