Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
