Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
