Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
