He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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