Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
