don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
