you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
