he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
