You can't motorboat a personality
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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