You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
