This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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