You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
