yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
