i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
