I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
