remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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