Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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