Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
