i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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