Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kcd14 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

Fav 20 1145 5695
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

Fav 17 5722 1478
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

Fav 8 987 7107
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

Fav 18 7709 1658
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

Fav 17 3701 1307
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear

Fav 10 2535 4092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.

Fav 9 4108 1156
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.

Fav 2 45 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid

Fav 0 79 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT