i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
