haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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