He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
