Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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