We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
