Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
