If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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