Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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