My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
