here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
